Sisi Senaponi's Blog

U na kpoi kpoi kpoi e! Hmm... For the compound wey face our yard! One innocent looking, female corper dey live with one of her female friends! Small time, one married young man begin find her come. He nor too teh wey he buy her car! Everything dey go well, until one day wah dey waka pass! *sideeyes* No be say I waka pass like that, like that...I don already pass, so I come re-waka again.   As I sight the man inside him car ontop phone, when he dey vibrate like vulcanizer engine! He begin shout! Make she nor call my number again! If I like, I will not send money or even bother to see my children for another ten years! It's my business not anybody's! He cut phone! Hmmm.. Confuse come catch me, so I begin watch the man with my internal eyes! So this man deliberately abandon wife and shidren,  he come port sinceee, and turn himself to Bachelor without divorce! *Na wa!* Anor even know as emotions just carry me that day, wey I remember some of my schoolmates when we dey Primary...

  Una doh o! I hail o! How every every?! God no go shame us! Which day wah still dey talk say human hair plus attachment don corss!  Na im we wake up this morning! As bucket dey fly, na im shoe dey descend! 😂🤣 Wetin hapun?! Wetin hapun?! The two Aunties wey dey live downstairs, be like dem join money buy wig. So dem dey alternate am! Atink, na one money plenty pass the other, but both na shareholder! Anor know wetin really cause the problem but we dey hear the main wig owner dey say wig don lorss! How she wan go work as she nor get front hair! And dey nor dey allow colored wig for her working place! God abeg o! Wetin do your front hair?! Na bonnet she dey wear for compound so we nor dey ever see the true nature of her head!  This one nor be wetin oyinbo dey call alopashia, go google the thing! *anor kukuma go school!* As bonnet don fly comot during fight! They nor wear waist girdle! No eye latchis or make up! We never even try settle kworeh wey Landlord don call police ...

  HOUSE OF HERITAGE!!! Gbagam! Gbagam! Gbagam! Una welcome o! My Fellow country pipo! Make una come buy wetin we dey sell o! We know say e get some kain people, wey nor dey gree leave bag wey don old and close eye buy anada wan! *clickstongue! * Like Aunty Ngor wah know, she use bag sotehhh! Her grandshidren be wan go archive am for Museum! That one nor be good heritage! *God abeg e! * Those bags too get ancestors! You nor wan gree make their spirit rest?! The money wey you use buy the bag sef don forget the time you send am errand! Na inside some old purse, person go find kolanut, coconut, corn and agbalumo seed wey suppose don germinate 5,000 years ago! Contact us make we supply you with better bags and other services at shikini money! Nor wait until I climb window come thief that your shidren school bag wey don see shege! Jor close eye, carry ya phone and call the number wey dey dem banner! +234 0903 391 5341 and +234 814 530 1024 A trial odi convince you say Brand pass Brand! W...

 Kpoi! Kpoi! Na who dey haasee e?! I greet una! Nna ehn, The other day wah enter one salon for area, I say i wan buy brown eye pencil. Na im the Aunty say na N500! *Hian!* I say for pack abi bundle?!  She use bad eye look me!  Nor vex!  She carry only one pencil come!  I say which time ordinary eye pencil come corss like this?! I never even drop am, waka reach door wey one Madam enter, say she don late for the party wey she dey go! As i see am,  I don already sense say this one na content!  Na so i pull chair sidon say i dey wait person! They do the Madam...sorry Aunty face finish, Anor even recognise her again!  If una see eye latchis wey dem gum her!  De thing long pass handfan! Small breeze from Industrial Fan. This latchis go fly carry the Aunty comot the party na! Tailors these days nor jor gather conscience, be like dey don join work with carpenter dem!  Because, the kain corset wey dem dey do for dress these days ehn, the thing de...

K poi! Kpoi! Kpoi! Una well done o! How market and hustle?! E go better! I sidon for my side, na im oga Peter waka pass with him container! I say make i check for new dross and patronise him. Oga Peter first daughter waka pass, inside school uniform with her friends. She no wan greet her Papa o! Na me say Georgina, how school today?! Be like say hunger don comot your left eye, wey you nor quick see your Npa ba?! She squeeze face, greet herself with shame and pass! Oga Peter say him pikin tell am say, make he nor dey advertise women wares come her school area!  She say her friends dey laff her, say her Papa dey sell dross! *Udonminit!*  I say thesame money wey you dey use send her go the school?! Buy books, uniform and sandals! I say she 'couldn't' be! The next day, after I don open shop put person there, I call Oga Peter for phone say I get customer for am! He join me for junction, I carry am enter him pikin school! He nor wan follow me, begin look if him pikin go see am! N...

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Una wehdone o! My fellow country people! How dey go, dey go?! I hail! Na noise we hear inside hospital as I follow person go greet person! The woman wan come deliver, she begin wail, lament, pray...nothing wey she nor do! Na only her elderly Mama follow her come there. The Mama dey try hold her make she nor wunjor herself! As she dey fling hairnet, na so she dey fling slippers! Nurses say make them leave her, as the shout go help pursue the baby comot!  Una say wetin?! *jawsopen!* The Nurses just dey waka pass like say na nothing! As we enter go greet our person wey just born, Na she tell us say the woman's husband abandon her for midnight since 8months ago!  The baby don almost due now, as she come hospital na so so strong, strong words they comot for her mouth! *Hmmm!* The one wey my spynoculars carry, na when she call the husband full name say 'na only if no be him be the first and only man wey climb her, make everything begin work against am until he come back house!'*C...

Una doh o! I greet o! How de economy for your side?!  God no go shame us! E get one period wey things jor get as e be.  Na so I kukuma pack my kaya go village! I go hustle small for that side! After some time don pass,my childhood friend say make i come back Lagos, make we see how to rough everything together! The day after i enter town, come even coincide with one interview wah get for mainland.  Na that time wey office work make serious sense!  E nor matter if na Sekuriti you be, just knack tie and coat comot for house! Na there respect dey that time, as plenty Monitoring Spirits full Area! People wey sabi say their family and neighbours get bad mouth nor dey bother disclose the kain job wey dem dey do!  Even person wey go tanda for newspaper stand from morning till evening, go say na office he go!🤣 Na when end of the month reach to bring salary come house, the men go start intentional kworeh with their wives. So they nor go drop shishi! Nna ehn, e don tey we...

  Kpoi! Kpoi! Kpoi! Na who dey haasee e?! I hail o! How Markeit?! Una do well! E don tey wah hear paranranran for area like that! Na im even remind me this gist wah wan give una!   Mama Ejima, my neighbor, open door, begin shout for yard early morning! I open window say, Na you and who?! Na who thief your pikin?! Nor gree to pay dem ransom o! Gee dem only two days! Na dem go return your Bush babies, Sorry... I mean the Baby shidren! *side-eyes*   I think again, I say...Abi na who wan carry belle gee your horseband?! Sorry their hubs...your husband?! Inside this Economy?!   They nor dey fear?! Dey nor know you?! You wey be say...Thief catch Thief na your...I don almost talk am abi?! Mah kukuma complete am?…Mah nor complete am say na your specialty! *Clearsthroat! * Nor vex..So na wetin hapun?! *side-eyes* Mama Ejima say na her Younger brother, Imma, wey she carry LAPO loan give to buy trumpet. He say he wan use am do business as the Surprise, Surprise thing dey reign ...

  Una compliments of dey Hicor-normi o! My customer say she nor dey do anything wey stress her last Christmas season. I say una nor get visitors? She say na only one Brother-in-law she kukuma get. Her own twin sister dey obodo oyinbo. She say the thing wey her Brother-in-law (BIL) carry her eye see last year! God forbid bad thing! I balance say make she knack me tori o... She say she buy two gigantic okuko, bag of rice and other things say at least, Christmas and new year don settle. She say she go salon come back, one full, mature, okuko wey get ‘bearbear’ don miss! *Hian! *   Chineke! Who wan enter balcony for upstair, get confidence and lift a whole okuko! She say her twins shidren dem go their classmate birthday. She never go carry them come back house sef! Na who she go come ask?? BIL say na inside room he dey all day! *side-eyes* She say,   so he nor hear okuko wey dey shout like say person wan thief am?! He say mba! Issoraite!   Na last...

Kpoi! Kpoi! Kpoi! Na who tie rope for gate? Una Goat don waka reach Junction o! E nor even remember wear shoe! My good friend say her family na soap opera! She say her Grandmama cause plenty problem nor be small! She say the woman don carry spirit husband dash all of them ahead ahead before dey even born most of them! She say the woman sabi jump from one gini gwanu to the other! Say if persin ask her, she go say na to protect her children! She say out of 12 children wey Grandma born, na only 3 manage and stay! Two boys and a girl wey be her own Mama! She say as their Grandma kpai like this, she don handover the 'thing' give her own younger sister wey dey with her for village during that time! She say she sef begin suspect that her younger sister and her mother because e get how dem dey sleep for night! God abeg e!😂🤣 She herself turn to monitoring spirit! I say why you nor follow dem sleep like that? She say blood shortage go worry her for leg! *yeye geh!* ...

Una doh o! How de oraizon?! I salute e! I remember back in the days, wah been ask Soba my former roommate, why she nor reason this Nnamdi as dem go Uni together, he sabi book but to get job hard am nor be small! I say Aftohroh, he nor too fine! So nothing like say another woman wan snatch am comot! *Abi na?!* Soba say Mba, Nnamdi family too get spiritual problem! Say she nor wan enter covenant with poverty! I say i hear o! Small time Nnamdi sef go pack small children put for the front yard of their house, begin teach them English and Mathematics.   E nor too teh wey he see job for one nice secondary school. Na from there he tell us how the principal go dey wink am eye, to come help her comot wetin nor wan loss for her west, inside her office! *side-eyes* E say one nice young female teacher, wey begin dey like him one time, Na so princi-winchy sack the lady comot! He say one day wey she wan kiss am by force, na so he push her comot with reflex, wey her wig go one s...