PARANRANRAN PALAVA!🤣🤣

 Kpoi! Kpoi! Kpoi! Na who dey haasee e?!

I hail o! How Markeit?! Una do well!

E don tey wah hear paranranran for area like that! Na im even remind me this gist wah wan give una!

 

Mama Ejima, my neighbor, open door, begin shout for yard early morning!

I open window say, Na you and who?!

Na who thief your pikin?! Nor gree to pay dem ransom o! Gee dem only two days!

Na dem go return your Bush babies, Sorry... I mean the Baby shidren! *side-eyes*

 

I think again, I say...Abi na who wan carry belle gee your horseband?!

Sorry their hubs...your husband?! Inside this Economy?!

 

They nor dey fear?! Dey nor know you?!

You wey be say...Thief catch Thief na your...I don almost talk am abi?! Mah kukuma complete am?…Mah nor complete am say na your specialty! *Clearsthroat! *

Nor vex..So na wetin hapun?! *side-eyes*

Mama Ejima say na her Younger brother, Imma, wey she carry LAPO loan give to buy trumpet. He say he wan use am do business as the Surprise, Surprise thing dey reign that time.

Even though we know say sometimes na the person wey order the thing, kukuma get the thing! *Clearsthroat! *

But during the pepperdem skit, una go dey hear, Oh! My God! Who did this for me! *Yinmu! * Auto-yawn!

 E nor go kee you to buy yourself the cake, sidon for house, lem the level and sleep!

Aftoroh, honesty nor dey kee persin...except for person wey tell soldier say na im slap soldier wife! God abeg e! That one nor get rewind, na Replay and Fast-forward!

I say so wetin come hapun? But money dey the business true true na!

 

She tell Imma, make he tell me wetin hapun!

Imma say him girlfriend Jecinta, na Upcoming Cake baker.

So anytime wey person order cake, she dey ask if they wan do paranranran and she go call him so dem go go as business collaboration!

I say that one na wonderful combination, I say wetin remain na make dem kukuma marry, born pikin. Make the pikin sef turn Drummer or Town crier, so the Entertainment crew go kukuma complete!

Beyoncé nor kukuma do pass like this! Small time when pikin show, na to name her Blue Ugwu or White Abiskus! Lobatan!

If na name of Area, like dem Kanye do, that one too dey ok!

Baby Kowkow go be short for Okokomaiko, Baby RowRow na short for Oworonshoki! Na you go decide which one go suit the business!

Imma, Why you dey look me like that?! E get wetin you wan talk?! Continue I dey hia you!

He say the first one he go, it went well but na the second one get K-leg. *Hian!*

 

He say im Babe call him say na hotel the Babe of the person wey order dey! So they both go meet the Bobo for area and dem go the hotel together.

Na so dem reach Hotel wey even the Receptionists and Staff dey do Ooooh-haaaa!

Some don dey even tap from the love sef! *Una nor dey learn! *

 

Na im Bobo carry Room service, go knock door for 7am.

Aunty celebrant open door with lingirin wey get mad partition! Kiikiikii...Na im our Brethren, Broda Theophilus Immanuel Ahamefuna, the trumpeter begin Paranranran!

 

The Cake Madam dey shake body, to carry cake give Celebrant with plenty laughter and gladness of heart!

Na im Celebrant turn Hulk Hogan, she nor gree make door open well!

Imma say na so Celebrant muscle cling for door handle!

Like say na when village people hold persin destiny for blokos! Hian!

The Boyfriend younger brother still carry phone dey record the wonderful momentum!

Aunty Celebrant, open de door na!

Make dem carry this cake wey heavy put inside na!

 Those kain Cake wey be say, if person carry One slice, Stone person enemy for forehead, the Enemy nor go ever recover from Amnesia!

 Prayer be say make the enemy nor go ask Oracle say who do am this thing?! Because how person dey dance ‘Ade Ori Okin’ enter Market nor dey pass like that!

Na only Fine icing sugar dey conceal the weapon of a cake wey dey under!

Mama Ejima don gimme the cake before! I waka go throway am for canal, make dem crocodile chop am. I dey fear for Rat wey go chop am by mistake for area!

 

This Mumu Imma boy say the celebrant begin cry, Haa baby! Haa baby!

I say Choi! See as love sweet o!

Bobo hug him Babe, use elbow open door. Madam Cake go drop the Concrete for table, Paranranran begin flex muscle as the Celebrity wey him be!

Na im one Naked Man comot for under Duvet, on light, say what the something is going on hia! *kiikiikii...* Wonders!

Imma say celebrant begin vibrate, she lie and say they just come deliver birthday gift for her! Like say she nor know any of them!

The Naked Uncle wear dross, begin look the scenario.

This Mumu Imma, wey wan make dem send am go where he nor know, continue to dey blow yeye trumpet, even after the Bobo wey come do surprise say, E don do!

I say oh! So na there dem gee you elbow for mouth?!

He say Yes! I say continue, I dey hear!

 

Imma say na im the two Bobos begin ask the celebrant say who be who?!

Before this Mumu Imma, go clean the mouth wey dey gush blood, Naked Uncle don carry the cake to fling for Surprise Bobo head!

As na Imma head wide and gather angular radius! Fiam! Na him head the cake land!

Cake baker don disappear as she hear 'do you know who I am?' and Naked Uncle don comot the leg of one chair! *God abeg e!

 

Oga trumpet, wey wan blow pass Angel Michael, say na so he sef rush comot!

I look am shake head! I say, you nor comot when the matter never sweet!

Na when action wan start, you run comot! Na wa for You o!

 Na your type dey comot church, when Angeh wan reward and carry something gee you!

Abi you think say Angeh geh patience?! This Nigerian economy?! Hian! Make boys go mob am, thief him wings as he dey wait you, to bless you with palliative?!

Una too dey watch oyinbo fim abeg!

Wey you suppose stay for the Horteh room, laslas dem go collect bed for you for Reddington and you go chop Free three square meals.

If you get luck sef, NTA fit interview you as Man of the hour! Great survivor of de fittest! You don blow be dat! Olajumoke nor do pass like that!

You nor know say problem nor dey finish for this country?!

Except God get Nigerian Angeh wey e wan send to you specially!

As your noise nor gree dem rest for Heaven!

 Na those ones dey hep persin fight all those Face-Me-I-slap-you house battle!

Those Angehs rugged die! Na dem do prison break for Elder Paul and Silas!

Come imagine say that kain Angeh come dey wait person because you nor sidon for one place! You don follow aproko go Seme border, you enter ship come back house!

You come back, instead to behave yoursef, you come dey hol God for trouser say... Show Thyself God! You have failed me! Are you even Alive?! I am tired of Waiting!

Hmm...mm...and Angeh still give you the present, and your body nor do you like say person flog you inside sleep?!

You sef know say na why Devil nor bother get HR! Sho loo fe stupid ni?! Han...han...Abeg na, run sample with Amadioha fess, i wan see something!

But na after person don shout, freeze throat, use prayer block God ears? He dey use vex, dispatch dem rugged ones!

I just imagine say, God go dey reason say ' Una nor Dey Sleep!' God nor know say na midnight, day just dey break for Face-Me-I-slap-you!

Na that time the Real Tenants they utilize the facility!

How you wan sleep when your Landlady dey pass near your window go meeting, after she don turn to goat?! And she go knock your window as she dey go and come!

No be you dey find cheap room wey get window and door?! Ehn…ehn na!

 

You nor go carry bible begin faya prayer, even if na from under the bed or inside wardrobe?! Before meeting go host inside your room! Kiikiikii...…!

Nna ehn, na so Imma nor carry trumpet come house! He nor get mind to go back the hotel!

Imma Babe Jecinta wey bake cake tell am say, the celebrant lie give Bobo say her Female Friends dey host her for the hotel, after dey don do girls night out!

So na the Baker even call the Celebrant to ask for the hotel address, say she wan come deliver gift for her.

Our honorable Jecinta Nzube the Baker, say she nor tell celebrant say her Bobo wey order, go follow come to propose join!

I say anyways, hapun don hapun be that!

 If your sister, Mama Ejima nor quick find the money or carry at least half of the dozen shidren wey she born, go bet for Baba Ijebu! Dem go carry her bwess plus your very under, put on top lantern and lock you inside public toilet!

I wan go wake Landlady and ask how meeting go?! *Side-eyes! *

Oh, you think say?! Haba No o! This one na Bird she nor be Goat! Odi Private Jet! *Clearsthroat!* Na Women of Wonders meeting I bin wan ask her! *Side-eyes!*