GEN Z!

By Sisi Senaponi

Kpoi! Kpoi! Kpoi!

Una well done o! How market and hustle?! E go better!

I sidon for my side, na im oga Peter waka pass with him container!
I say make i check for new dross and patronise him.

Oga Peter first daughter waka pass, inside school uniform with her friends. She no wan greet her Papa o!

Na me say Georgina, how school today?!
Be like say hunger don comot your left eye, wey you nor quick see your Npa ba?!

She squeeze face, greet herself with shame and pass!

Oga Peter say him pikin tell am say, make he nor dey advertise women wares come her school area! 
She say her friends dey laff her, say her Papa dey sell dross! *Udonminit!*

 I say thesame money wey you dey use send her go the school?! Buy books, uniform and sandals! I say she 'couldn't' be!

The next day, after I don open shop put person there, I call Oga Peter for phone say I get customer for am!
He join me for junction, I carry am enter him pikin school!
He nor wan follow me, begin look if him pikin go see am!

Na so I carry am enter their Principal office. She suprise to see me! *kiiikiikii🤣😂...God abeg o! No peace for the wicked!*

After the last time wey my Niece carry stool, stove, kerosene, pepper,carrots, maggi, 2cups of rice and 1 Titus fish go school, for Home economics practical. And the Teacher say dem go teach them 'Stairs-fry Rice'! *We support!*

Nna ehn, na only stool she put for head come back house! Anor see balcony not to talk of stairs! 
Nzube, wey my pot?! Wey Rice?! Stove nko?! 

I go check gate maybe the Rice wan do majestic entry! *Hian!*

Nzube say her Teacher don carry everything go face Oyinbo panel to give them score! 
*Wetin concern oyinbo with Pot and Stove?!*  Chineke!

I say you taste the food?! She say they nor even cook!

The principal say no need, they go paste practical result for them tomorrow!

I say why dey nor keep the stool?! She say teacher sidon on top, come use behind scatter the leg! Stool wey carpenter do for small pikin! Anevasee e!

Foreign rice wah buy, thinking... plus and minus, pikin go carry half come back house! 

Anor think say na Indian breeze carry me! Mba! This one na Atlantic PanAfrican Tornado, wey carry me appear for their school the next day! 

I land inside staffroom, see these teachers dey share raw kpomo, Fish, Beans, Rice, Atarodo,Yam Tubers! *Abomination!*

They say wetin I dey find?! 

I say na my Niece forget her Titus fish inside her teacher bag! And the fish don call me say e dey hia! 

I say as I stand there sef, my Two Derica of foreign rice dey text me say, dem dey inside Rubber Paint under Principal Table!

Imagine o, anor even know which time this my cutlass follow me comot for house! Come attach to my wrapper like pikin! 

Like say the cutlass even pre-see their upcoming denial! 

Wisdom nor go kee persin abeg! * Una say wetin again?!*

Na thesame Atlantic PanAfrican Tornado wey carry me reach there, land me back inside house! 

Nna ehn, my Titus wey wear black & silver sequins, balance ontop my very arrogant Foreign Rice, beside better 'incarcerated' coke wey sabi! *clickstongue* 
May we not labour for another to carry!

So as me and Oga Peter come land Principal office, she don quick carry megaphone, begin ask for staffroom who offend  Nzube's Aunty?! Kiikiikii!😂🤣

I say nobody offend me, make she sidon come buy wetin we dey sell! Nothing wey she nor buy! This one pass panic buy!

All the struggling parents and guardians wey she don embezzle, nor make dross gree enter her west! *sideeyes*
Thank God say Oga Peter get special Banquet sizes!  

Some teachers even follow him buy. One teacher wey resemble Voldermot inside Harry Potter, ask if Oga peter get 'something' secret!
 
She say na wetin she dey wear! say she nor dey wear cheap cheap, things! *Hmmm!*

I say our own products nor dey deceive person! E dey show you as you be! Na if you wan come request for cushion, iron rod and burglary, he go enter market bring for you! 

Be like say something enter her eyes, after I tell her say the only secret wey Victoria never tell her be say, her big mouth go soon collect wotowoto! Wey she do nose like Aba Pringles, follow TomTom do Anko! *fakers club!*

Oga Peter nor kukuma dey sell her type! The dross fabric too thin!Mba! Her bad character go dey ooze comot! So make she face the Aunty wey dey help her keep secret! *clickstongue!*

We finish o, I say I wan greet Oga Peter pikin for class, principal carry us go. Pikin go hide under locker! Begin find wetin nor loss for Grand!

I greet the fine fine pikin dem! Pray for them, tell them wetin we dey market, as some sef don dey begin grow chest wey pass Principal own!

I say we get Brand Ambassador for hia! 

And her name na Georgina, so anytime wey they wan order, we dey do door to door service and home delivery! Anywhere wey breeze reach, Oga Peter dey deliver! 

Na so dem clap give us, wey we comot O jare. 

Pikin wey dey shame for him parents legit hustle, na wetin fit them be that! Gen Z Odi Confused Lot! 

Shit money dey smell?! Na ask I follow ask o?!

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