Sisi Senaponi's Blog

I greet o! Na who dey haasee e?! Doh! I dey my customer area, I say mah stop and greet her.  Her Ada don wed, but she nor too dey visit like that! Even though na still this same Nigeria she sef dey! I say so how she dey take hol boredom?  She say na her husband be her Taataa now! Taataa as how?! He still dey find bwess wey nor dey obey gravity?! *side-eyes* She say that one for good, but wetin dey do am now, don pass wetin gravity wan uphold! The husband begin exhibit midlife crisis at over 60! He begin dey go mall to buy Skinny Jeans on top Polo and Face cap! I say on top that im alligator pointed shoe?!  She say MBA, be like he been befriend one Aunty for that mall, wey her name be Nike.  As na every thing he carry come house na her name dem put even as sales gini gwanu! *Side-eyes* i say abi make we gather and  recommend one bros gee you?! *sideeyes!* She say Tufia! She nor reason any man since 18years,  wey she marry her Golden Husband!  I say...

Wonder nor dey ever end e!   Landlord bring new tenants come yard! Two bros wey get muscle like bouncer!   For inside broad daylight, na im dem go tie 2year old pikin towel for west!   *Inside this hot afternoon, wey blood pressure and other things fit rise!*     Ehn?! Na which kain thing be this biko?!   Small time, Reverend Sister begin wear nose mask for eyes! As na near her window dem carry gym gym bench and rod keep!   Na so dem go spread leg for bench dey carry iron like Tom cruise! *persin eye nor go fit comot the kpalakpolo near dey toweh!*   Ehnn?! Landlady sef don begin wear bum short under sun and moonlight!   While Mama Ejima, my fellow tenant nor dey gree wear Bra under wrapper again!     Small breeze, na im she go fall yakata for tenant lap! *sideeyes!*   Landlord nor fit talk, as he don carry him senior put for haase!   Make persin nor carry blokos block me for b...

Una wehdone o! Fellow kwantri people! Na for the woman wey near Iya Dada shed, i quick go buy sachet milk and coffee...Anor too sleep last night! Na as we dey settle one kworeh for yard, na im another set begin use slap do souvenir! The one wey dem knack bucket, collect bucket! The one wey na charm dem knack, don collect charm! Na only God go reduce vawulence ontop woman and money matter! Anor know if na the hot weather sef dey contribute to anger! I tanda the Aunty Glory shed, to buy the things. Na so one woman come with her pikin, wey dey go school. She come buy imported cereal satchet, put inside the pikin school bag. The other customer wah meet there begin hiss! I say Aunty hope no problem o?!*side-eyes!* She say na wa o! Say that woman wey na eba and okro without meat, she dey carry feed her pikin for house! Go come dey buy imported cereal for thesame pikin to carry go school! Say no be fake life be that?! Nna ehn, people get problem o! I say Aunty, abeg how th...

  I go greet this my friend wey nor too well for house. Her parents don kpai, the bobo wey she date for 6years, wake up one morning say, im mama say make he nor marry am! He go! This house wey she dey live, the landlady na old woman, she nor dey gree give house to single lady. When this my friend wan rent the house sef, agent tell her say if she nor get Bobo, make she go rent o! Say she fit later say the guy travel for work! Once the Landlady don see the two of them! Person go reason say na because the Landlady nor want single fornicators for house, dey nor know say na another reason! The first night wah spend for that compound, i notice one yellow, fine lady wey get jeep.  I ask my friend who she be? She say na Landlady only pikin be that! Say she dey live for there with her mama plus she never marry too but she born boy. Hmm...the next morning, i say make i go help my friend buy custard from supermarket. Na im i jam drama for staircase! Wey the man wey dey ...

  Things dey happen abeg! This my customer wey get shop dey sell food.   Na her second husband house she dey so! The first one dey use punch redesign her face soteh, front teeth sef no complete again! Na middle of night she pack her load run comot with her only son! This second one wey she think say na better person as he dey gentle and he sef don divorce before, he come worse pass devil. The woman begin look like times ten of her age! Her son wey she manage send go school do polytechnic, the boy dunce pass anything! He slow pass slow motion. I say how he come manage to graduate? Na im person tell me say e be like say na anytime the boy no dey that house, him brain dey function. But once he enter that house, na remote mode he dey! *Udonminit!* E nor too tey wey the husband former wife say make their son come begin follow the man and this new wife live. The man son dey do well, even learn carpentry work! Na im this my customer dey clean house one day, wey ...

  Our people go say,, make person nor run pass im shadow! Especially shadow wey nor wear canvas! My fellow market somebody say she wan go collect money from people wey dey carry person bwess put on top lantern! I say, you say?! You wan buy job?! She say her Mother-in-law, dey too discriminate every Christmas! Say any wife wey nor dress the children well, or any Grandpikin wey nor get the highest grade for class na problem! Plus she must buy gift and go! I say nor be why Akube full Yaba?! Full Balogun?! Full Super?! You nor get baff for house, wey you never use?! How much be wrapping paper?!   If you want sef, i get packer and plastic handfan from Ozioma wedding, I go gee you! Meh you wrap everything together! Why you wan kee yoursef?! The online pipo wah borrow ordinary seven taasand from, dey call all my contacts soteh, nothing wey dey nor say i do! They say i be criminal! Kidnapper! Bandit! Ritualist! Terrorist! Infact, if possible, dey for say na me ...

Nna ehn... Nothing sweet pass make person get in law wey like person pass their own pikin sef! We dey go do community service for church.   Na inside bus we begin gist after we don sing and dance well well. Sister Deborah nor join us, i ask her sister Josephine, she say her sister dey enjoy omugwo fhingz! I say when she born?! Shesay na last month! I say nor be Aba you say she been dey that time.   She begin laugh say, Mba o, na Debby say make she nor tell anybody for church! * side-eyes !* If una see this person wah dey talk, her belle nor dey ever show say she get belle. She fit just say she dey come now, now, you go jor hear weehn weeehn! *pikin don land!* She come get MIL wey set like dem Kardashian Mama, she nor dey age at all! The MIL nor dey like make wife drop body on top say she don marry or born o! The MIL body fit pass anything! Small small gehs nor get anything for her FIL side so! Na Sister Debby ,first naming ceremony  wey all of us att...